Wednesday, October 31, 2012

How to handle normal fears

I figured children having fears at night be a good thing to talk about on Halloween! 

This is a typical time of the year when children who may not have had any fears in the past start to have them.  There are all sorts of scary images out there, even if you try to limit your children's exposure to them. 

There are several different ways to help children through fears they are having.  You should think about your child's temperament, age, and your beliefs to pick what is right for your family.  One thing you should tell any age child is that you are there to keep them safe.
For an older child, explain to them that they are in control of their thoughts.  Bad dreams and fears are thoughts in their head.  If they have a bad dream or thought, they should take it out of their head and throw it out their window.  Then they need to put a good thought back in.  My daughter always likes to think about when we went on vacation to the beach. 
Younger children (as well as older children) may enjoy a prop to get them through their fears.  You can give them a bad thought spray bottle.  Put a little water in a spray bottle and let them spray the air to get rid of bad thoughts.  Some parents call this monster spray and use it to scare away any monsters or anything else your child may be afraid of.   If you do this, be aware that you are in essence telling your child that monsters do exist however. 

Make sure your children know they can come to you if they are scared.  We do want to give them tools to work it out themselves, but I believe that they should be able to get comfort from you if they are truly scared.  If they are using this as a stalling tactic, you will need to try and recognize that and excuse yourself from the situation.

Good luck and feel free to contact me with any questions!

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